The neighbor girl stopped by while my kids were watching an old episode of The Muppet Show.

“Oh! I know this show,” she said, “This is where they are all puppets and, like, there are people inside of them and stuff, right?”

“Well, yeah,” I said. “Mostly. But… Not that guy though.”

“No. All of them. I saw a thing about it. They are all puppets.”

“Well yeah, but not the guy with the cigar, right? He’s real, right?”

She shook her head, “There is a guy inside of him doing the voices. I saw a thing about it.”

“But, that’s George Burns.”

She settled onto the couch between my daughters, “Yes. He’s a puppet.”

After that, I had to go upstairs and lie down for a while. My mind was spinning.  Was my whole life is a lie? Why did no one tell me that George Burns was a puppet? Who else is a puppet? Andre the Giant? Tom Cruise? Are you a puppet?? Am I a puppet?!?!