My family returns from their vacation tonight, after visiting Andrea’s grandparents in Ohio. So, I have been living alone for the past two weeks, and I must say I have learned a great deal about myself and the world in this brief time of isolation and self discovery. For example:
1. The turn table in my microwave rotates at exactly 18 seconds per revolution. So, it is best to cook a slice of pizza for two minutes, and then six additional seconds in order to have it finish pointing the same direction as it was when you put it in. Apparently not knowing which way my pizza will be pointing when I open the microwave door is something that causes me anxiety of an inexpiable nature. As a side note, concerning my microwave. The power went out today and I had to reset the time, but in doing so I accidentally told my microwave that it was the year 1913. I am not entirely sure what my microwave thinks it is right now, but it does not think that it is a microwave. I will give it till tomorrow before letting it know the truth.
2. It has been several years since I have had the free time to play street racing video games. However, in those intervening years I have become a traffic engineer and a father of small children. So, not only do I apparently have no desire to drive a car very fast through a city running red lights and cutting off minivans, but as I drive slowly I become extremely frustrated by how horribly designed all of the roads and intersections are. Seriously, I saw a 3 lane road with HOV lanes in the center lane. And the signage is awful. It’s like they actually want you to hit the road signs.
3. It is possible to go a surprisingly long time without eating when you don’t have tiny people following you around reminding you to prepare food.
4. Netflix is a jerk for automatically starting the next episode of a TV show only 15 seconds after the last one ended. It takes at least 30 seconds to find where the computer mouse is hiding in the bed sheets.
5. I’m a rather boring person without my family around.