So just now I was here at my desk and I glanced over and noticed that I had bought myself a strawberry parfait at the store and had completely forgotten about it, and I was totally like, “Ahhh yeah Past James, you a genius, boy! You a genius!” and then as I was trying to open the container I accidentally tipped over my soda can and spilled pop all over the books and papers that were on my desk, and I was totally like, “Ahhhh no Present James, why you have to be such a doofus? Huh? Why can’t you be smarter like Past James?”

And then I ate a strawberry parfait and calmed down a little bit.