I was spending some desperate yet futile moments trying to rest on the couch when a little girl appeared to fall from the cieling onto my belly. Like a giant giggling spider. This was a new dance move she has been working on for her favorite song which was playing loudly on the other side of the room.

“Oh.” she stuck her face closer to mine and squinted. “You are awake!”

“Yes, Clara.” I groaned.

“I like this song.” she announced needlessly. Then she continued, “I want to play this song on stage someday. For a show.” she stared at the far wall as she continued to dream out loud. “and I would dance like I was just now. And people would clap. And then when we got to the part where the song says ‘lava’ I would have a big gun and I would shoot it at the people. It would be a fake gun with big fake bullets. And if you caught the bullets you could come up on stage and get a prize. The prize would be seven things. And they would all be candy. You know what they would taste like?”

She began counting off fingers, “one, Strawberry. Two, um two muffins. Three, Candy. Four, maybe somekind of funny party hats. Five, strawberry.. Um bubblegum. Six, bullets, like from a gun. Seven, funny dogs.”

You might think that this sounds like a very exciting show to watch. You would be wrong. Because this particular song never says anything that even sounds like the word “Lava”.

I am starting to fear that my daughter might be a complete lunatic.