I woke up this morning to a little girl poking at my face with her index finger. I pushed her hand away in the dimness and reached around to turn on a lamp. “Clara. Stop. What in the world are you doing?”
She stood over me with a blank expression. “I saw on The Magic School Bus that people’s faces are covered in corn flakes. Did you know that?”
“What? That’s insane. What in the world are you talking about?” I glanced around the room and fumbled for my phone to see what time it was.
“No. It’s true Dad.” She continued, becoming more and more animated. “I saw it. The kids climbed around on them. They protect you from germs.”
I blinked at her then down at my phone. My alarm was set to go off in another 15 minutes.
“Also, these are much bigger than you would think they are.” She pointed her finger at my eyebrows and they retreated up my forehead.
“Stop poking me, please.”
She leaned in closer and squinted at my cheek. No doubt she was hunting for corn flakes, and trying to find the tiny school children riding in a bus across my face. Mrs.Frizzle was probably taking them on an exciting adventure across the desert of my cheek on their way to the giant woolly eyebrows in the distance. The little dorky kid with glasses was getting lost and ending up accidentally wandering up my nose. He would think he was just in some kind of cave and talk to himself about all of the weird looking trees. Then he would make a fire or something to keep himself warm. I reached up and scratched my nose, instinctively.
Still squinting into my face Clara finally said, “By the way, what day is today?”
“Monday.” I covered my head with a blanket. “Definitely, Monday.”